Empathy, Fault & Strength
- Jodie
- Jan 15, 2019
- 2 min read
Are you empathetic, almost to fault like me? As a hairstylist, this came in handy to understand where someone was currently & how they envisioned their "ideal" look.. as an adventure tour guide it was extremely important to understand and get a feeling for how a specific guest was, or was not (eek), enjoying their trip.
So my empathy isn't 100% a downfall, but it's a slippery slope.
How then, does empathy lead me to difficult situations? It often happens without knowing, until it's too late. Within about 30 seconds of empathizing with their emotions, fears, dreams.. it starts. You're in it.
Once you understand their position, their feelings, the "why's" of their emotions, actions, and words they're saying.. you're in a challenging place. What if you disagree personally? If mentally you're going against the emotions you're trying to empathize with.
You have a choice. Do you continue to empathize with their situation or do you interject with your own beliefs??
---- Please visualize me jumping on my bike and pedaling fast AF away.----
The situation, person, and setting dictates your next move. (unless you have zero filter, lol!) With true, uplifting friends, you can empathize with them and still present your true self; your personal beliefs and feelings come forward. The empathy is mutual.
However, sometimes this mutual empathy is not possible. Instead your views and feelings are quite frankly CRUSHED by someone who feels they are right; far more so than you.
I'm still learning how to handle this. How to listen and empathize with someone who disrespects and disregards who you are?
In the moment, I flip on the professional version of me, disconnecting my personal feelings from the conversation. This person has made it quite clear they believe they are more important, so I respond by changing my mind set. I switch to listen, empathize, & FORGET what they say. You must forget it for this to work, don't let it have power over you.
My husband explained how it looks from the outside perspective..
"If they're going to be rude or disrespectful, they get the face-forward version of you, not the real you. Their loss."
One of my favorite TED talks is below, "The Magic of Not Giving a F*#$."
I'm not sorry, I don't have to apologize, I'm not an @$$hole.
I'm just making my life healthier.
"No thanks."
What F*ck's do you need to cut out??
Comments